Well, nothing really worked out the way I had planned...
First, Lindsey's no longer here. She spent a total of about 3 weeks here in my flat before I realized that inviting a girl that you don't know at all to come and stay with you indefinitely, especially when you have no job and your country is in the middle of political turmoil, is a bad idea. I kind of imagined that I would help her expatriate herself (I see myself as a kind of under-ocean railroad), but I'm pretty sure she just wanted to lounge around and get drunk all the time on my dime. So, I told her she had to leave.
So, what was the poor girl to do? She was without money, without a job, without a ticket home, without anyone to support her, and stranded halfway across the world. A couple of friends of mine took her in for a couple of weeks, but when she destroyed their flat by clogging up the plumbing (doesn't take much - the pipes here are made of aluminum foil and chewing gum) and causing all the sewage to seep back in, she was officially up a shit creek (pun certainly intended).
Fortunately, she just happened to run across an American solider on leave in Istanbul. They fell in love, yada yada yada, and he's whisked her away to live in Rome. I tell you, that girl's got skills. I wish her the best of luck, and I'm sincerely glad she's found someone else to follow around Europe.
As for me, I'm not working at ITU after all. I got an email in mid-September saying, "Er... We still haven't received the necessary documents for your employment, but we really hope you'll continue to wait for us and our government to get our shit together. We know you're not making any money or anything, but we're sure you're a really swell guy and everything will surely come up roses!" Of course, I did the professional, loyal thing and got a new job the next day. (Jobs for English speakers grow on trees here. I couldn't count the amount of times I've been propositioned in pubs... For jobs. English teaching jobs. Damnit.)
Anyway, now I'm working in this nice little family run school called ALTA Eğitim, or Beş Günde İngilizce - English in Five Days. Basically, the scam is this. (Did I say scam? Oops, sorry boss). Students come here for only one week, nine hours a day. They walk in, drop off their telephones in the office, and enter the classroom (equipped with comfy IKEA chairs, beautiful IKEA tables, and a brand-new IKEA stereo system that spills out lovely Baroque music, performed by the IKEA symphony orchestra), and shut the door behind them, effectively leaving their lives behind and entering into an ENGLISH SPEAKING WORLD. Which is a room. And me. And cheeseburgers.
Yeah, we eat cheeseburgers for lunch. Every day. I guess that makes it seem more American. We spend 9 hours together, no breaks, which means we eat breakfast together, smoke cigarettes together, drink coffee together, eat lunch together, and at the end of the day, drink wine together. That's right - I get paid to drink wine. The perfect job for an English teacher!
Actually, it's a really nice place to work, and they're really successful. They advertise in every professional magazine in Turkey as well as have a team of young women cold calling every major business in Turkey, trying to get these huge companies to pay for their clients to come learn English. And do they learn English? Well... no. I don't think so. But still, the students walk out every day, smiling and feeling successful because they just spoke English for 9 hours straight! They don't even notice that they're not really learning anything new. They're too amazed at the English they already know. It's a brilliant system, and the owners deserve every one of the millions of Lira they're earning.
In other news, I'm beginning preparations for opening my company. I've settled on a name - Educit Editing and Translation. Why Educit? Well, it's from the Latin meaning to draw out, where we get the word education. It means that we draw the meaning out of your document and translate it into English (or something like that). It's also kind of cool because the first two letters and the last two letters spell "Edit". :) We've reserved the website, and it will be opening soon: http://www.educitenglish.com/ (no longer in service, sorry! -ed)
But don't worry, even when the millions start rolling in, I won't forget about all the little people who helped me get here. (I'm not saying you're little. Really. I was only speaking comparatively, I promise.)
