It's official, Emily and I are now REALLY, REALLY FAR AWAY FROM HOME.
Geographically, sure, but spiritually as well. I realized just how far we had gone when I popped into the Migros supermarket and found that the only yoghurt I can find is the plain, goopy, sour kind, in huge paint buckets. No good for breakfast :( Sure, musli is available here, but it's like 8 bucks for a little bag. We offically have no idea how to shop here! Everything Turkish is dirt cheap, and everything "western" is either completely absent or 
more expensive than a reasonably well-done sex-change operation in the back alleys of Istiklal Caddesı.
more expensive than a reasonably well-done sex-change operation in the back alleys of Istiklal Caddesı. You know, I suppose the biggest shock has been that although we're in a city of about 15 million Muslims (calm down, my American friends, they're friendly savages), I can get a six pack of beer 
and go to the erotic shop, while Emily can walk around in Taksim square in a miniskirt (not that she ever would), and no one will bat an eyelash. Of course, it's amazing some of the things we can't do. Apparently, it's a state crime to insult Ataturk, the founder of modern Turkey. By the way, I found that out by telling my head teacher how creepy looking he was. Whoops! It's also a state crime to insult the flag. But their flag's really cool, so, no worries there!
and go to the erotic shop, while Emily can walk around in Taksim square in a miniskirt (not that she ever would), and no one will bat an eyelash. Of course, it's amazing some of the things we can't do. Apparently, it's a state crime to insult Ataturk, the founder of modern Turkey. By the way, I found that out by telling my head teacher how creepy looking he was. Whoops! It's also a state crime to insult the flag. But their flag's really cool, so, no worries there! During the millilon hour train ride from Bulgaria (where I literally had to beat trendy-looking gypsy womens' hands out of my pockets), it became very apparent that you should never, ever, ever eat anything in Bulgaria. Ever. After some sketchy looking cheesy bread, I spent the entire train ride, and my entire first day in Istanbul, vomiting up a liquid whose color does not occur in nature. Emily found some pills for me here that seemed to help, but made my urine look like orange juice. I have never b
efore reacted adversely to a region's cuisine (except England's, but that was more of an moral protest "My god, how can people really enjoy this crap?"), but Bulgaria and Turkey have united their powers to prove my digestive tract a sniveling little wussy. In fact, I'm convinced that they sprinkle some sort of sickness-dust on everything in Bulgaria. I spent the whole day today clutching my stomach because I ate some peanuts I got there... Peanuts!
efore reacted adversely to a region's cuisine (except England's, but that was more of an moral protest "My god, how can people really enjoy this crap?"), but Bulgaria and Turkey have united their powers to prove my digestive tract a sniveling little wussy. In fact, I'm convinced that they sprinkle some sort of sickness-dust on everything in Bulgaria. I spent the whole day today clutching my stomach because I ate some peanuts I got there... Peanuts! So, we've been here for just a couple days now, checking out the school, resting, and pointedly not doing anything touristy. After 2 weeks of the hassle that is the Balkan countries, I really just want to sleep and drink tea. Oh, the tea here is fanstastic. Apparently by the sounds drifting up to our bedroom window (we live just off of the busiest street in Istanbul), the only thing Turks do for fun is drink tea and play backgammon.
One of the greatest benefits of working at English Time is that we get as much 
free tea as we want while we're at work. They are going to regret that. I promise. The one thing that's going to kill us is the commute. To get to work, Em and I have to walk 15 minutes to the world's smallest metro (500 meters), take it down the hill, walk another 5 minutes to the ferry port, take a boat FROM EUROPE TO FREAKING ASIA, then walk another 5 minutes to work. That comes to about 2 hours commuting per day, as well as like 6 dollars in tickets. Plus, on most days, we'll be working split shifts, which means that between about 2 and 6, we will have nothing to do but walk up and down the streets, bargaining for absurd prices for things we don't really need, and have to then carry home. Or, we can just drink tea for hours. :) Yeah, they're going to regret that.
free tea as we want while we're at work. They are going to regret that. I promise. The one thing that's going to kill us is the commute. To get to work, Em and I have to walk 15 minutes to the world's smallest metro (500 meters), take it down the hill, walk another 5 minutes to the ferry port, take a boat FROM EUROPE TO FREAKING ASIA, then walk another 5 minutes to work. That comes to about 2 hours commuting per day, as well as like 6 dollars in tickets. Plus, on most days, we'll be working split shifts, which means that between about 2 and 6, we will have nothing to do but walk up and down the streets, bargaining for absurd prices for things we don't really need, and have to then carry home. Or, we can just drink tea for hours. :) Yeah, they're going to regret that. Forever your sandpaper on the ass of humanity,
Aaron Rotsinger
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